Overheard at Ivy:
Senior, on first kisses: I think I kissed my Dominican babysitter when I was 7… She was like, 15 though, so it was cool. Her name was Domatila.
Overheard in 1580:
English soldier: If plaine or homely, wee saie she is a doudie or a slut.
Overheard in Forbes:
Critical sophomore: You know what I really hate? When I ask someone how old their baby is and they say 18 months. Bitch he’s one year old!
Overheard on g chat:
Hood politician: Chief keef would probably be republican: Strong belief in the 2nd amendment, capital punishment (see: lil jojo)
Overheard in Whitman:
AEPi sophomore: Stevie Nicks is forever.
Overheard on Prospect Avenue:
Theta 1 (on phone): Tell him to make a roadie and meet us.
Theta 2 (to herself): A roadie to go…
Overheard in Butler:
Theta sophomore: Okay, I weighed myself before I peed, and I weighed myself after I peed, and it was a three pound difference.
Overheard at St A’s/Shere Khan pregame:
Boy: All of Instagram is here!
Overheard in Housing Office:
Receptionist 1: So I said, a phone is a phone! It’s for calling!
Receptionist 2: So why’d you get an iPhone?
Receptionist 1: Because I wanted Instagram!
Overheard at Ivy:
Azerbaijani freshman: I’m a legend I’m a legend I’m a legend.
Overheard at Firestone:
Security guard, to other security guard: Oh, Tracy? That girl easy like sleazy.
Overheard on Facebook Chat:
Junior Pi Phi: Verbatim this week sucked.
Senior Pi Phi: That’s because we weren’t in it.
Overheard at Bridges precept:
Humanities student: Is a rock really a rock or a fragment of our understanding of a rock?
Overheard in Studio 34:
Archetypical bro: Why don’t we smoke and watch Workaholics and correct each others’ Spanish homework?
Overheard on Graduate Student Events Calendar:
Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament: Jan 26, 2013 ·5:30 p.m.– 8:00 p.m. Lawrence Apt. Parking Lot. Return to the times of old and be entertained whilst you feast! Dinner and entertainment are included. Cost of this event is $40. Transportation will be arranged by carpool – please RSVP and indicate whether you can drive yourself/others. Email Audrey at firstname.lastname@example.org to RSVP. Sponsored by the Graduate School.