Overheard in Foulke:
Tigertone: I get more head than anybody I’ve ever seen before.

Overheard at Ivy:
Member: I mean, it’s not hard to become a senator.

Overheard in The Daily Princetonian :
Quad Officer: We’re a pretty popular club on the street.

Overheard after initiations:
Inebriated Ivy member: I was the most popular person at PMC.

Overheard in Math Alive:
Adjunct professor of Mathematics: So the question is, how many people are you going to date in your lifetime? But don’t ask a mathematician that question because the answer is 0, or 1 if you’re lucky.

Overheard in Wu:
AEPi Sophomore, inscrutably: Yeah girl you all about that forbidden fruit life.

Overheard at Sunday Mass:
Girl 1: She is such a bitch.
Girl 2: Jesus, you can’t insult people in church.
Girl 2: Well, you just used the Lord’s name in vain.
Girl 1: Yeah, but you insulted a real person.

Overheard in Mathey:
German freshman: I vud like to know more about Monica Levinsky.

Overheard in Pyne:
Tower senior: We’re letting in 70 Indian kids. I’ll never speak to any of them.

Overheard at Ivy:
Boy: Charter’s really beautiful… If there were no people there, I’d go.

Overheard in Forbes:
Bathroom Nazi, to roommate: Fuck, man. Did you shit in the toilet again?!

Overheard in Forbes Dining Hall:
Girl, near-hysterical: You’re in Cap now, baby, nothing else matters anymore!!

Overheard at a Nass meeting:
Nass Freshman: Anyone here on a varsity team?
Frist center: [dull hum]

Overheard at Late Meal:
Butter-covered Terrace sophomore: If you get anywhere near this ass it’s gonna be danger.

Overheard in Frist:
Math major, to other math major: Padding your GPA with Econ classes is like beating fourth graders in basketball.

Overheard at Terrace:
Ivy sophomore, screaming: FUCK, I WANT A HOAGIE.
Nass staffer: Do you have any cash?
Ivy sophomore, even louder: I would, BUT I SPENT IT ALL ON LUBE.

Overheard at Terrace:
Dude: If it’s covered in chocolate who cares if it’s a dick?

Overheard at Shabbat:
Future Bridgewater employee: I just had a moment where I realized how glad I was to be white.