cover. 35.10

CONTENTS

Black Musings by Lovia Gyarke

Future Veterans by Veronica Nicholson

On Prospect by Denuk Buggybuk

Team U and Me by Dayton Martindale

David and David by Isabel Henderson

Each Body by Lily Offit

On Going Away by Dan Taub

Bye Bye Blumberg by Tom Markham

Gros-Câlin by Emily Lever

Allegory of the Garden by Mitchell Kilbourne

Over-love by Giri Nathan

Game of Chance by Charles “Chip” Lawrence

Capturing Essense by You-You Ma

Observing FIFA by Chris Murphy

Letter from Lia Beach by Matthew Brailas

Dear Susan Patton by Olivia Lloyd

VERBATIM

Overheard in Ivy

Theta sophomore: Black babies are cute until they start growing hair.

Overheard in The ‘Prince’

The Sexpert: Dear Whiskey Dick, Yes! You can have plenty of fun, both at formals and afterwards, without drinking.

Overheard in Terrace library

Terrace junior: Sometimes, when I’m staring a large amount of work in the face, I wish that meth habits were socially acceptable.

Overheard in DiSiac audience

Basketball bro, to fellow bro: An aphro-diSiac is something that puts you in the mood, that makes you feel sexual. Like, yours would be shoes.

Overheard at Cottage

AEPi sophomore: If I were single I would come here all the time. I would spend my life here. All the hot girls are here.

Overheard in a bathroom stall

Sophomore female: Like I’m not gonna throw up but I’m gonna get RULL silly. I’m going to TI and I just hope I hook up with a guy to validate my sexuality.

Overheard in Wu

Tower sophomore, on Terrace: It was a really weird scene. Everyone was smoking pot.

Overheard in Mathey

TI male, thoughtfully: I used to want to defy science, so I tried to think of thing that weren’t solid, liquid or gas. I came up with shit like… yogurt.

Overheard on 2016 Boat Cruise

Freshman female: Does Tiffany’s make flasks?

Overheard in an English
precept

Girl: The Stanford Prison Experiments were run in response to the Abu Ghraib prison scandals, which occured in the 1970s.

Overheard on Facebook

Tiger Admirers: I fell for you, but you weren’t there to catch me.

Overheard in Forbes

Ivy sophomore: So, you’re going to some 3rd world country and doing healthcare stuff this summer, right?

Cap sophomore: …Philadelphia.

Overheard at a basketball game

Ian Hummer: I’M A STUDENT ATHLETE! NOT AN ATHLETE STUDENT!

Overheard at Poe Field

Skater townie: When I go to college I’m going to be the one girl playing with all the guys, just like that girl over there.

Overheard on the Terrace deck

Terrace Show chair: I just booked a band called Panty Raid.

Sophomore: What do they play?

Show chair: I don’t know.

Overheard at Communiversity

Man, to small child: You see what these kids get up to? Isn’t college crazy?