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CONTENT

Growing Down by Lauren Davis

The Ethics of Dodgeball by Ben Jubas

Giri Nathan by Giri Nathan

I Wrote a Thesis by Rafael Abrahams

Religion with Friends by Susannah Sharpless

Growing Up Quaker by Veronica Nicholson

Elegy by Matthew Brailas

The Gay Diaspora by Jared Garland

Schoolyard Diva by Hadley Newton

1000 Words by January Canto

Confessions: on Thesising by Ted Garzimo

Bickering Ivy by Cezanne Simon

Cheat Code Honor by Matt Gibbons

Boston by Marty Page

VERBATIM

Overheard seven minutes before a 90-person lecture

Prefrosh, to professor at podium: Professor, I was just wondering, is it alright if I sit in on this lecture?

Overheard at a poetry reading

Matthew Dickman: How many people here like to do drugs? Anyone? No one?

Chang-Rae Lee: *raises hand*

Overheard in Cap

Theta junior: I just don’t really like when they play rap music. I can’t relate to it. It’s not my fault I didn’t start from the bottom.

Overheard on Alexander Beach

Girl, looking at tent for Eisgruber reception: OH! That’s Eisergruber… Iregoober… Eisgoob…

Overheard in Frist

Bro: I tried to use an idiom yesterday, and I totally messed it up.

Overheard on a ListServ

Shere Khan member, on record release party: We’ve been practicing singing, and no one is getting PMC’d this time.

Overheard in Blair 

Long Island sophomore male: I didn’t know any black people before I came here.

California sophomore maleJesus! We had like four of them. 

Overheard in GER 102

German instructor: Can you locate Checkpoint Charlie on this map of Berlin?

Student: Is that a restaurant?

Overheard in Wilcox

Male grad student: I’m gonna have a PhD! Get at me boys!

Overheard in ART 242

Engineer: Is drawing different from painting?

Overheard at a press
conference

President-Elect Christopher Eisgruber: One of the best things about being president-designate is that I will no longer have to explain what the job of the provost is.

Overheard in the slums

Theta senior: I swear to God that I did not ctrl-f “dumpster”; I’ll admit that I did Google “dumpster sluts.”

Overheard in the slums

Ivy senior: He’s trying to be a doctor. That’s such a “minority” thing to do.

Overheard in Forbes

Freshman girl: I went to this talk about David Foster Wallace.

Prefrosh, smugly: Oh yeah, he teaches here.

Overheard in Terrace

Ivy junior: I smoked and did some lines and now I don’t know whether to be hyped or chill.  I’m like Nietzsche and the Second Dilemma.

Overheard in a Visual Arts student critique

Conceptual sculptor: You seem to struggle with the “stool-ness” of the stool.

Overheard in Holder

Mother, to small child in stroller: It’s not a palace. It’s called a residential college.