05.09.13-cover

CONTENTS

Late Meal Loss by Emily Lever

Nathan Lang Eckstein by Nathan Eckstein

Reality Check by Dayton Martindale

Rules of Pool by Eliot Linton

Dear Joanna Newsom by Jamo Creager

Bursting the Bubble by Will Mantell

Her Lady Bits by Rafael Abrahams

Womanhunt by Isabel Henderson

Virginterviews by Filipa Ioannou

Chocolate Jesus by Tom Ledford

Facebook, Home by Josh Pitkoff

Beyond the Pines by Tom Markham

Reluctant Reunion by Liani Wang

Polis is This by Joel Newberger

 Nass 100

VERBATIM

Overheard in Frist

Classics major: For my Greek essay we have to take an insignificant passage from Medea and talk about its significance.

Overheard in Terrace

Junior male, upon opening paycheck, triumphantly: 55 dollars! That’s an eighth!

Overheard at Lawnparties

Theta sophomore, to peer: My sunglasses are more expensive than our friendship.

Overheard in Forbes

Tower sophomore: Can you have non-aggressive sex? Like, just passionate, sensual intercourse where both parties are not angry at each other? Is that possible?

Overheard on McCosh walk

St. A’s sophomore, to senior: Hey, can you help me craft something clever and witty to send to the GroupMe?

Overheard at Terrace formals

Fashionable male: I don’t understand why everyone hates pretension. I love pretension.

Overheard in creative writing registration line

Freshman 1: My prom date’s dad is like, pretty famous.

Freshman 2: Wow. Imagine having a famous dad. Is your dad famous?

Freshman 1: He’s kinda famous. Yeah. He’s famous.

Freshman 2, awed: Wow.

Overheard in Terrace

Pi Phi, proudly: I went to Pi Phi formals without a date, and came back with someone else’s.

Overheard at Shere Khan/St. A’s pregame

Sophomore male: Let’s not go to formals. Everyone is here.

Overheard in Whitman

Theta 1: Do you have a seersucker dress I can borrow?

Theta 2, nostalgically: My
Christian horseback-riding summer camp used to sell seersucker pajamas

Overheard in Arabic 107

Prof. Tareq Elsayed: I would love to work at Wawa. You get free coffee and you can be yourself.

Overheard in Frist

Desolate press club member:  I’ve hit so many new lows tonight. Don’t verbatim that, it’s too raw.

Overheard at Ivy

Pi Phi, disgustedly: Coach was so middle school.

Overheard at Twist

Cottage sophomore 1: We were talking about the Maldives and Mauritius.

Cottage sophomore 2: The who’s and the what’s?!

Overheard in Cuyler

Junior male: I voted for the kid who drank his own semen.