lkjllj

  • Non-females
  • Columns in the Daily Princetonian
  • Rows in the Daily Princetonian
  • Nepotism
  • The Harvest Moon
  • Philosophy bros
  • Boob sweat
  • Crying and listening to “Fast Car”
  • Banana jelly beans
  • Blisters in the sun
  • Big Sean-anigans
  • Vigilante justice on the free-food listerv
  • Lack of vigilante justice in precept
  • Pollen hybridized with chlorine gas
  • Clogs
  • How many pages does it need to be?
  • wow
  • Vague outrage
  • Radiators making cat noises in the night
  • Urban Congo
  • Describing shit as “urban”
  • Urban Outfitters drop crotch pants
  • “The city“
  • “I just need a moment”
  • LinkedIn
  • “Alternative” career fairs featuring Princo
  • Hot takes
  • Cold hummus
  • Unfermented beverages
  • Computer-written poetry
  • Cleanses
  • Percocet
  • Ben affleck’s shaft
  • All of it
  • Vocal fry’s hostile NPR takeover
  • Your short story about a disillusioned college student struggling to write a short story
  • Weak chins
  • Not being carried everywhere like a goddamn baby
  • Languages other than French being spoken in the bedroom
  • Anything but stony silence in the bedroom
  • Nationalism
  • The certainty of death
  • Unintelligent dance music
  • Mass incarceration
  • Police brutality
  • Anyone, at any point, being made to feel unsafe at Princeton
  • Unbridled ecstasy
  • Thinkpieces on drones
  • Thinkpieces on millennials
  • Thinkpieces on thinkpieces
  • Feigned indignation
  • Your tangled web of lies
  • No strings attached cocaine
  • Living far away from trees
  • Intelligent dance music
  • “Socially liberal, fiscally conservative”
  • Sleeping in the Nass office
  • Shtupping in the Nass office
  • Kleenex with Vicks
  • Push pins
  • Living far away from a loved dog
  • The English Canon
  • The cannon of Cannon
  • The camel of Cannon
  • Limp puns
  • Asymptotes
  • Boys who don’t leave in the morning
  • People describing prose as “Hemingway-esque”
  • Noncommittal subtweets
  • Bold
  • Dog psychologists
  • No comment
  • People who comment, ‘This!!’
  • Canada Goose
  • Teardrops on guitars
  • Unsolicited guitar playing at social gatherings
  • Recommended readings
  • Memes that aren’t dank
  • Tweets that aren’t fire
  • A future where I don’t have a job
  • A future that doesn’t include the dismantling of systemic inequality
  • Late meal water bottles
  • Big Sean
  • Little Christopher
  • Medium Kenny
  • Skinny Claire
  • Swollen Jesse
  • Pint-Sized Larry
  • Antisocial justice
  • Residual high school ambition
  • Adults wearing overalls
  • Undergraduate e-mail signatures
  • Guys in infinity scarves
  • Women not shaking hands with other women
  • Pining
  • Grinding
  • Pegging
  • The Whore of Babylon who sitteth upon the great waters
  • The girl’s-hand-on-guy’s-chest couple photo pose.
  • The girl’s-hand-on-guy’s-knee couple photo pose.