Dismayed Frosh: I'm not upset my phone is wet. I'm upset that the water spilled was Voss
Junior drinking from a S'well: I'm Puerto Rican, but not passionately Puerto Rican.
If your independent work/thesis project involves the use of drones, can you please contact me.
Future Anna Wintour Assistant, raging at woven slippers: Every Chinese lady in America has those!
Artsy sad boy: I didn't realize how sexy your turtleneck was.
Girl to friend: *loud whisper* I had the WEIRDEST dream that one of my friends… was a Lesbian!
Nass Managing Editor: Is it obnoxious to post this picture of Bombay Sapphire on my snap story?
Brooklynite: No, why would it be obnoxious?
Gossip-loving soph: So I heard Peter Singer is a nudist. He also has a secret cheese drawer, because he's vegan.
Junior Theta: My personal goal for this semester is to get in with the alt crew
Politics major, on Cornell band halftime show: Oh my god! This looks JUST like the North Korean mass show.
Former Nass-er: Is that a real book?
Nass Junior: Yeah.
Former Nass-er: Oh, so it's not fiction?
Senior NYU girl: We're both artsy. But I'm, like, aesthetic artsy, and she's, like, DIY-artsy.
Frat pledge: This is the first time I haven't worn a street to the shirt and I feel fat.
Senior girl, reflecting on Kant: The next time I'm making out with someone on the street, I'm going to ask them, excuse me, do you see me as a means or an end?